Everyone is struggling to forgive someone: an unfaithful partner, an alcoholic parent, an ungrateful child, a terrorist. Updated for a new generation, this award-winning book provides a radical way for hurt parties to heal themselveswithout forgiving, as well as a way for offenders to earn genuine forgiveness. Until now, weve been taught that forgiveness is good for us and that good people forgive. Dr. Janis Abrahms Spring, a gifted clinical psychologist and award-winning author of After the Affair, proposes a radical, life-affirming alternative that lets us overcome the corrosive effects of hate and get on with our liveswithout forgiving. She also offers a powerful and unconventional model for earning genuine forgivenessone that asks as much of the offender as it does of the hurt party.